


What if MSND was even gayer?

by w4all77



Category: Midsummer Night's Dream - Shakespeare
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 09:22:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28579683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/w4all77/pseuds/w4all77
Summary: This is a fully gay retelling of A Midsummer Night's Dream.
Relationships: Demetrius/Lysander (Midsummer Night's Dream), Helena/Hermia (Midsummer Night's Dream)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	What if MSND was even gayer?

Hi! So this is my first story on here, very open to any comments/critiques. I'm a big Shaky fan but always love reading queered takes of his plays so I thought I'd take a shot at it. I did not write this in iambic pentameter but I couldn't resist a little bit of Shakespeare themed writing so its written in a mix of modern English and whatever version of English the Bard wrote in. I'll be posting this act by act, hopefully having the full play up in a month. Please enjoy! 

1.1  
*Enter Theseus, Hippolyta, Egeus, Lysander, Demetrius and Helena*

Egeus - My dear Lord Theseus, it pains me to have to trouble you mere hours before thine nuptial hours but I must settle this grave quarrel between myself and mine own blood.

Theseus - Worry thyself no further, tis my duty as Duke to settle the disputes of my people. Bring forth the issue and I shall try my utmost to settle such a dispute. 

Egeus - My thanks Lord. Mine own son Lysander refuses to accept the fair Helena’s hand in marriage. I have looked upon this union and blessed them to go forth, Helena’s parents have also lent their support. And yet mine stubborn son refuses, although he offers not one respectable reason for such impertinence. The bond between mine own blood and I is crumbling before my very eyes and I must seek assistance. I beg of you please Lord, convince stubborn Lysander to agree to this union or at basest level explain to me his refusal. 

Theseus - I must confess Egeus this issue perplexes me. Dear Lysander do you not find Helena to be as beautiful as the counts profess? 

Lysander - Tis not the reason Lord. Helena is a true beauty to behold. 

Theseus - Do you not see her as a suitable wife? 

Lysander - No my Lord, I believe Helena will be a magnificent bride in her time. 

Theseus - Well young Lysander may you please explain to me why you refuse to proceed with your father, and Helena’s, wishes? 

Lysander - I mean no disrespect to fair Helena, my dear father or you Lord Theseus, however I must confess that I do not see this union working for either party. Therefore I must, out of good faith, refuse. 

Theseus - Will you explain the reasoning behind such a decision? 

Lysander - (Pauses) I cannot my Lord.

Theseus - Tis a most unusual dilemma. I can see no reason for why thou will not accept Helena as your bride. What could possibly be driving you in such a way? 

Egeus - It's the damned influence of that boy Demetrius!  
Theseus - Is this so? Demetrius what say you to such an accusation.

Demetrius - My lord I do not wish to interfere in a fathers dispute with his own kin, yet I must say that all I have ever been is a dear friend to Lysander. I would never work towards such a sinister plot. 

Egeus - He is as a snake in the Garden, lying to your own face. Ever since Lysander and this scoundrel have grown close my dear boy has lost his passion. Demetrius has been a leech, seeping all the love and joy from mine own relationship with Lysander to suit his own fancy. 

Theseus - Dear Egeus I must ask that you restrain your anger. As long as I have known Demetrius I have yet to see any vile behaviour from him. I must admit this outburst is shocking to me and my beloved. 

Egeus - I apologize my Lord, but this boy must be the reason behind my son’s treachery 

Lysander - Dear Father, and Lord Theseus, I do not wish to delve into my reasonings but I swear Demetrius has no hand in the making of this. Please do not place blame on him. 

Theseus - I do not wish to label anyone within this room as a villain in this issue. I see this as a familial dispute. Egeus I am without power to force your son to do anything and I refuse to punish Demetrius for an imagined offence. However I must inform you, noble Lysander, that if you continue to withhold from your families wishes, especially without proper backing, I will be forced to side with you father. I cannot force you into marriage but I can revoke your bloodline and send you out as an outcast. Betraying one's own blood is no small act and you must decide if it is worth whatever fanciful reasonings you have spun in thine head. 

Hippolyta - My beloved! Is this not too harsh of a decision? Surely young Lysander must not choose between a marriage he is not invested in and a life away from his own kin! 

Theseus - I do not wish to quarrel with you my love, but this is the law of the land and as Lord I must enforce order. Dear Lysander, I urge you to not take this decision lightly, I will grant you till the end of my nuptial ceremonies to come to your senses. Egeus you shall not condemn the boy any more, he must make up his own mind at this point. Grant him that grace. Now let us leave the young ones to muddle over all this. Hippolyta, Egeus come away with me, we have much to discuss for the upcoming festivities. 

Hippolyta - Aye my love. Dear Lysander please heed this advice, the love that does burn in thine heart cannot be betrayed. Consider this in your choice, for love above all else must be protected. Let us depart. 

*Exeunt Theseus, Hippolyta and Egeus*

Helena - Well Lysander I sincerely hope this turmoil you have caused will show you the course you must follow. I detest the notion you bring forth that I cannot be a good wife to you. I am committed to this marriage and want you to join me in this, willingly. For you Demetrius, I care not for what you have told Lord Theseus that keeps you in such good graces, I know one contains venom when I see it. Tis your fault for muddling Lysander’s kind mind and making him have delusions of what our marriage shall become. Whatever joy you elicit from meddling in the lives of others will soon disappear and I vow to you that your vile ways will be exposed to the world as a beetle is shown when their rock is upturned. Do not think you will get away with your treachery. Lysander, my love, I pray for you to think well and see I am the wife you desire. I will be here for you. 

*Exeunt Helena*

*As the door slams behind her Demetrius and Lysander turn to each other and clasp hands*

Demetrius - Oh dear Lysander, I am sickened seeing the despair I have caused you in all of this. I want you to know that I will understand if you so choose to leave - 

Lysander - Enough Demetrius. Please do not insult my character by even assuming I will abandon you in all of this. Demetrius I have spoken such to you before and I will repeat this till the day I die, you are my true love. You cannot ask me to leave you anymore than you can ask the moon to leave the sun in the sky. You are my sun Demetrius, my light. To leave you for Helena would darken me for all eternity. I do not care what my father or Theseus say, they think I am delusional to not take Helena but I would be driven mad if I ever chose to leave you. 

Demetrius - Lysander, my love thank you for your words. I would have understood if you chose to leave me, but it would have ruined me. I cannot bear the thought of you and I apart. Oh my love it pains my heart to see your family and the treacherous law tear you apart so, and yet I know it would destroy my soul if you were to choose to part. 

Lysander - Fair Demetrius do not feel pain for me, offer me only your love and nothing will bother me again. I am resolved in this, I will not leave you for Helena. 

Demetrius - Thank the many gods. I am feared to even ask but what does this mean for you and your family. You will so choose to be banned from this place and your station? 

Lysander - If this is what must happen for me to keep your hand then I will accept it gladly.

Demetrius - Well if leaving the confines of this palace is what you choose then lets not do it on the laws choice, lets take our fate in our own hands. 

Lysander - Whatever do you mean?

Demetrius - I have friends of mine that live in Illyria, you must have heard word of that place. They do not soak in the toxic jurisdictions such as this one. This love of ours would ne’er be a problem in such a place. Think of what we could do, walk in the streets arm in arm without any fear of harassment or square. I could love you openly. 

Lysander - Such a place sounds like unkindled heaven. I would love to see it, with you my love. 

Demetrius - Wonderful! I say we spite the orders of those above us, why should we wait for Theseus to banish you. We want to leave no matter what that old dog says, so let's fly tonight. I need not bring much with me for the most precious thing I could take is with me right now. 

Lysander - My sweet, I will run from this place with nothing in my arms but you and I would do it with only a word. Let's fly this place; to hell with them!

Demetrius - I knew you would agree to such a plan. I must ask one last time if this is the true mood of thine heart? If this decision dries a thorn between us I would prefer you jab me here and now. I love dear Lysander, and that means I will do as you wish; even if what you wish is to part. 

Lysander - *Takes Demetrius’ face in his hands and kisses him*  
I would sooner die than have to cast you aside. If this place does not let me kiss you like this then we must find a place that will. 

Demetrius - I will bring you to this place my love this I swear. Never will mine eye turn from our love. Let us assemble what me must need for the journey and leave as the moon reaches its apex. 

*Enter Hermia*

Hermia - Oh dear Lysander, look upon thou. Here you reside with the love of one such as Demetrius. As if this is not full enough on it's own, you must also catch the eye of the fair Helena. Does it bring you joy to enact such pain on her and through line also to me. 

Lysander - *Breaking away from Demetrius*  
Hermia you must know her pain is not my wish. 

Demetrius - My old friend Hermia what brings you to spit vile at Lysander. You have been a fair friend to us both, never one to cast at us in this way. What is causing this treatment?

Hermia - I do apologize, but the mood of Helena is striking me as well. She and I used to be oh so close, friends of the heart, as close as lovers in all things but body. Yet now this affair with her marriage is driving her away from my form. She no longer confides in me, no longer wishes to be near and she tries to pretend as if we were never intertwined. 

Demetrius - You know this is not the fault of Lysander, yet I see where this cast comes from. Helena must have been thrown away from you due to her duty of marrying Lysander. But fret not my friend, this shall all soon be cast away. 

Hermia - Even if Lysander refuses to marry her I know she will still try and pursue him! 

Demetrius - Yes but what if there was no object for Helena to chase. What if it all vanished?

Hermia - Speak not in fancies! Such a thing can never happen. 

Demetrius - There shall be no fancy utterances here. What I say shall soon pass. Lysander and I will be leaving Athens, tonight. 

Hermia - Leaving? Will this be permanent?

Lysander - We hope so. I shall never return to this place so long as my father refuses to see who his son truly is. I shall not part from my love. 

Hermia - Demetrius is this true? You would so choose to never see me again?

Demetrius - I do not take this loss lightly Hermia. I do not wish to be apart from you, but when the alternative is to see my love marry another the choice is clear to me. Such is not all remiss however! We can no longer live here, but you can come see us whenever you wish. Take a solo trip and the trio will reunite whenever you wish to pay a visit.

Hermia - Where shall I go to see you?

Demetrius - We will be journeying to Illyria. There we shall reside in the same love yet under different identities. 

Hermia - I shall miss not seeing you everyday, but I can see this will be good for you. I wish you the best. Shall you be leaving soon?

Demetrius - Tonight we shall depart. We must get ready now. Come Lysander, let’s prepare for our new lives. Hermia, please come to us as soon as you can.

*Exeunt Lysander and Demetrius*

Hermia - I know deep in my heart that I should be compelled to happiness looking at my two dear friends take comfort in their love. Yet here I stand, bitter that I cannot share in the same joy. Helena and I were close as two could get, well perhaps we could be closer if she would only think the way I do. I seem to have lost her trust in this entire process and this has driven her away from me. Oh how could my love for Demetrius ever rival my love for Helena! Ever have I been the dutiful friend and what has that brought to me? Perhaps it is time I strike a hotter course of action. Lysander and Demetrius will fly tonight, the entire city will be ablaze with puzzlement, Helena most of all, and who should be able to ease her mind but I? Never will I disclose where my dear friends have fled, but just by telling the fair Helena that the two have fled should restore me in her confidence. I will let my two friends have fair time to run, I will not tell Helena until they are far away but this shall bring us together. 

1.2

*Enter Quince, Snug, Bottom, Flute, Snout and Starveling*

Quince - Has everyone assembled? 

Bottom - Aye we are all here. Tell us Quince, what play shall we be putting on for the Lord Theseus’ nuptial celebrations?

Quince - The play we have is The Most Lamentable Comedy and Most Cruel Death of Pyramus and Thisbe we - 

Bottom - A most remarkable play men! This shall call upon us to explore deep emotions and enact moments of great revelry. 

Snout - I’ve been told to stay away from revelry. 

Bottom - Nay! This is not revelry you see in the streets, this is revelry of the stage! These most high dramatic arts call for it!

Quince - Yes yes, we must have all of that. I have already taken the liberty of assigning the cast. In the role of Pyramus we have Bottom - 

Bottom - Is this a role of great emotional depth? Does it require the actor to delve into their most carnivorous state to enact the vision of lore to the audience? 

Quince - Ah, yes surely it does. Next we have Thisbe, this shall be played by Flute.

Flute - Must I also get carnivorous for this role? You see I am more partial to an omnivore diet and I hope - 

Bottom - Why yes of course you must! You cannot deny the stage the meat it calls for.

Quince - Aye to all of that. Flute the role of Thisbe is one of profound depth, in the play she falls for the fair - 

Flute - She? Must I always play the women of the story? Can you not see my beard coming in?

Bottom - Flute has a point here. Perhaps I should take on this role? It would be good for me to hone another aspect of my talent. I can give fluttering eyes and whispered words of love. Feel the curvature of my breast and tantalize the gentlemen in the audience. Oh yes Quince let me do this!

Quince - No I am sorry but I cannot see you suiting the role. Think Bottom, it is Pyramus who has the grand monologue about love and longing. You are the only one among us who can do it justice. 

Bottom - Ah yes that is true. I must play Pyramus. But why must he be a he? What if he became she and was played by me? 

Snug - Pardon me, but what does that entail? 

Bottom - Oh it's creative genius! Think of the spectacle we can put on in this way. Not only will Pyramus and Thisbe be separated by the wall but the shackles of society shall also part them in our story. The audience will eat it up! 

Starveling - I think it's a right fantastic idea! There are too many stories of men anyways, I say put the woman in! 

Quince - We have been instructed to perform the play as is, this would be an outright affront on the - 

Bottom - Oh Quince, the stage has never been suited to safety. Let us play dangerously! 

Snout - I lean towards this, let's put danger on stage! 

Bottom - Listen Quince, if it offends you so let me come forward before the first act and explain that this choice has been made from me. I will let the audience know that we have decided to pursue a fairer form of theatre and such we have added more fair people in our production. How can they be offended in the face of high art? If you wish I will even let you write this speech for me. All questions will be immediately soothed and we can perform with no holdup or anger!

Flute - Must I still play a woman? 

Quince - Yes, no question there. Fine Bottom, I will write you a script. You must explain this and take responsibility for it. May we please start our rehearsal then?

Bottom - Yes! Let’s create theatre men. No higher endeavour is sought after than the glory of the stage! 

*All Exeunt*


End file.
